An axe is made to serve a specific purpose. It is used to cut, chop, and split. It was designed for this purpose. And yet, if it is not maintained it looses its effectiveness. If it is not regularly sharpened it becomes virtually useless. Sure, it can be used as a blunt hitting object, it can split, but less effectively, it could even be used as a weight to keep something from being blown away, but these are not uses for which it is designed or best suited. It must be maintained. It must be sharpened. It is sharpened by rubbing a gritty, hard stone along the edge so that small pieces of metal are broken away, removing the outermost edge of the blade. The result, if done well, is that the blade becomes sharper, and the utility of the axe is restored. Once again, the axe is able to fulfill the purpose for which it was created.
The axe is also more likely to reach its highest utility when in the hands of someone with knowledge on how to best utilize it. When wielded by someone who knows the proper techniques for felling, chopping, splitting and cutting the axe increases in effectiveness.
Just as the axe, a man is made to serve a specific purpose. He is created to serve, to protect, to lead, to fight, to provide. He was designed for these purposes. And yet, if he does not engage the world, via his masculine soul, he looses his effectiveness. If his wit, body, spirit and passions are not regularly sharpened he becomes virtually useless. Sure, he can be used to serve other purposes. He can be mild, soft, lazy, unproductive, selfish or effeminate, but these are not the uses for which he was designed or is best suited. He must maintain his masculine soul. It must be sharpened. It is sharpened when a man rubs against the gritty parts of the world. He is sharpened when he challenges himself and seeks the hard things. When he rubs shoulders with the rough, gritty, challenging experiences small pieces of him are broken away, removing the outermost edge of the civilized, domesticated, and refined parts of him. The result, if done well, is that the the masculine nature within him becomes sharper and more visible on the outside. His utility is restored. Once again, he is able to fulfill the purpose for which he was created.
Man, like the axe is also more likely to reach his highest utility when in the hands of someone with knowledge on how to best utilize his masculine energy. When accompanied and guided by someone who knows the proper techniques for living consistent with the code of manhood, the man increases in effectiveness. In this way, boys are guided into manhood by older men within their families and community. In this way, we mentor young men and provide an example of how they can live an honorable, manly life. We share the “how-to’s” of manhood and pass along the traits of manhood passed to us.
Masculinity is more than a "part of our identity" as men. It is more than a social construct. It is the core of the design of men. It is at the heart of what brings us a sense of purpose and fulfillment. When society tries to redefine it, or stifle it, or remove it from our lives, they remove the ability of men to reach their highest purpose.
As men, when you fail to maintain your manhood, you cheat yourself out of your very nature. Chances are many of you already know this. You can feel it. While sitting on the couch, or behind the computer screen you feel the draining of your passion. That dull indifference that has become a part of your life for so many years gnaws at you from the inside. You feel trapped and empty and directionless. These feelings are not the result of middle age or your marriage or your being a father, or your inability to meet your financial goals. It is something much deeper. It is your masculine soul crying out for attention. It is your innermost passions fading because you have failed to maintain the masculine qualities that made you feel alive. Being courageous, adventurous, inquisitive. Fighting for something greater than yourself. Truly committing to providing for those who rely upon you. Engaging with your children in a way that intentionally shapes who they are as men and women. When was the last time you put yourself in a position to have to answer the questions, "Do I have what it takes?"
When we abandon these pursuits we abandon the very essence of manhood that makes us feel alive. We become soft and comfortable and lazy. Eventually, we recognize that our passion for life is gone but we can't figure out why.
But there is another way. There is a path forward that will bring back your passion, your energy and your sense of fulfillment and purpose. This path requires you to sharpen yourself. Scrape away the rust. It may take some work, but in the end you will restore your soul and once again be suited for fulfilling the purpose for which you were designed.
One way to begin is by surrounding yourself with other man living the standards of manhood that have been passed to us from prior generations. Let them be the grit stone you rub up against that will take away the rusty outer edge. Build a brotherhood of men striving to be better men. A brotherhood that will serve as an honor group whose members hold each other accountable for how they live their lives. A brotherhood that will be the support system for picking each other up when they fall. A brotherhood armed with knowledge where each man can share their wisdom so that the others can grow.
Other ways to maintain your edge:
Do things that challenge yourself. Test yourself in ways big and small.
Take the difficult path.
Put yourself in a position to answer the question, "Do I have what it takes?". Work on improving yourself physically, mentally, spiritually, intellectually, etc. by working out, reading, engaging with others.
Stand up for your beliefs even if there is a cost associated with doing so.
Spend time in the wild spaces, forests, mountains, rivers, lakes, and fields. It is amazing what you find there.
Go on an adventure. Do something exciting and unique with your wife or kids.
Build something
These are examples of ways to reignite your passion and awaken your manhood. Man was not made to be passive. We are made to go out into the world and make shit happen. So go do it.